A Sequel (2/6)

This is the first time I've ever totally re-visited a piece. Others, the cyberpunk world, I've added on to, but this is a complete rewrite. I liked some of what I'd written yesterday but it took too long to get to anything I felt interested in. So I rewrote it to try and get the whole "story" in as close to 1,000 words as I could

        Purple light filled the dark lecture hall, silently casting the audience of rapt observers in a violet glow. The machine on the table made not a sound as a beam of superheated plasma carved silently through a cube of solid steel, two feet to a side. Despite the sparks, this process was quiet as the grave. The audience looked on astonished. After a few moments, the machine cut off, the flick of the switch the only sound the machine made. Its inventor walked to the lectern, grinning wide as the fluorescent lights above buzzed to life.

“Gentleman, as you can see, my new laser is more powerful, more energy efficient, and more compact than any before it,” the inventor gestured to the object on the table, no larger than a flashlight, “This is good for mining, surgery, construction, manufacturing, quantum computing. I believe with proper funding it could even be used as the thruster for laser propelled spacecraft!” The inventor beamed at the crowd, awaiting any questions.

“I have a question, Doctor Smith,” came a voice from the back. An esteemed professor from Yale stood, casually stroking a thick mustache. “Why doesn’t your laser make any noise?”

“A brilliant question. Typical lasers, in fact all of physics, rely on a fundamental misconception of how light and energy interact with matter. My laser operates under a new understanding of the relationship between these forces,” he slid his hands together, producing hardly any sound, “Thus we are able to create massive amounts of energy and heat without the common interactions with the physical laws that generate noise,” Doctor Smith turned his head away to find another question to answer. None raised their hands.

“Yes yes yes,” the professor continued, “You’ve explained the how very aptly. I’ve yet to hear you explain the why. Why did you make a silent laser?”

“Pardon?”

“What’s the purpose of it?”

“Well as I said the applications in the medical field are-”

“But what good is a laser that doesn’t make a sound?”

“I’m sorry I’m misunderstanding,”

“I would say so,” called another scientist, rising from his seat, “We are men of science. Men of learning and numbers. And each of us to a man knows that lasers go PEW-PEW,” a chorus of “harumphs” arose from the lecture hall.

“A laser that doesn’t go PEW-PEW is no good, no good at all,” another voice cried out, “You can’t expect anyone to take your invention seriously enough to get funding if it doesn’t go PEW-PEW!”

“Or ZAP! even. We would accept a ZAP!” a man in an orange and black Princeton tie shouted, to much agreement.

“So if I slapped a speaker on it would be fine?” Smith ventured. He was met with a chorus of boos.

“That’s cheating! You can’t use a speaker. The laser needs to be the thing to go PEW-PEW”

“Or ZAP!”

“Yes, or ZAP!”

Several other luminaries in their fields offered their suggestions for what the laser should sound like. Doctor Smith left them there arguing, hands in his pockets, mind on fire.

It was another two months of tests and tweaks. The laser was silent because it was perfectly designed. In order to produce a sound, some imperfections had to be introduced. The laws of physics that Doctor Smith has so gracefully circumnavigated now had to be blundered back into. Mirrors were re-angled so the particles no longer silently phased through matter. The energy needs to keep the beam stable grew exponentially. The flashlight sized emitter was now hooked up to a sequence of daisy-chained car batteries. Crude, but functional.

Doctor Smith presented it to the assembled mass again, the beam emitting a high oscillating whistle as it burned through steel. The laser didn’t plunge as deep, nor cut as quickly, but at least there was a sound. The device was still good for medical and industrial applications, but the dream of laser propelled spacecraft slipped further out of view. But it was still a laser, it was still useful, and it now made a noise.

The scientists wailed like children, clamping their hands over their ears. “That’s not what lasers sound like!” they shrieked, “That sounds weird! Turn it off!”. Smith complied, and the assembled masses grumbled at him. Back to the drawing board, they said, ushering him out of the room.

The process took months. Every time Smith returned, his machine was larger. By the fourth prototype he had to wheel it in on a hand truck. By the sixth, it became so cumbersome that the door had to be taken off its hinges to allow it to enter the lecture hall. The energy needs skyrocketed. Daisy chained car batteries were now good enough to keep the fitful beam going for only a few moments. Smith took to linking it to a stinking diesel generator. Even above the din of combustion, the scientists still knew the sound wasn’t right.

“It should sound like BZZZZZZZ!” “No no, or PZHEEUUUUWWWWM” “No you ignoramus, a laser sounds like FWEEEM!”

The uses of the laser diminished with each prototype. It was too heavy to be good for medical procedures, too energy inefficient to be useful on large scale assembly lines, too expensive to be used in drilling operations. It wasn’t even good at making a sound, as the scientists made a point to let Smith know. Smith’s hair began to fall out. He forgot to shave. The bags under his eyes grew as purple as the laser itself.

Eight months after his first presentation, he flicked the switch, hardly even registering the action.

BYEAUOMMMM

Purple light cascaded from the emitter, a sloppy undulating circle of light shining on the steel cube. The beam was hardly powerful enough to raise the temperature of the metal. The only thing it had any effect on was biological matter, cloth and meat, which sizzled noisily under the mauve spotlight. It was useless. Nothing at all what Smith had imagined. The most significant scientific breakthrough since man first sharpened stones had been reduced to a two ton monstrosity that drank from the power grid like a leech. It was not good for industrial use, or manufacturing. It wouldn’t be good at medical applications, even the scientific applications were struggling to justify themselves in Doctor Smith’s head.

The scientists raved, clapping eachother on the back over how much it sounded like a proper laser. This was science in process, this was science in progress. They cheered and hooted as the side of beef charred in the laser’s beam. Someone approached Doctor Smith, congratulating him for something he didn’t quite understand. The man was of the same dimensions as the cube, made of the same stuff, his shoulders resplendent with stars. The man placed a check into Smith’s limp hand, a mind boggling number of zeroes behind an arbitrary digit.

The man with the stars milled about with the scientists, all of them whooping and imitating the sound of the beam. They were elated.

Doctor Smith dropped the check to the ground and departed through the doorframe. His invention wasn’t good for anything, not for anything at all.